i've not stopped. And that ive moved on to another webblog? hehe..
ive made a few editings to my blogspot's account and deleted one away for good. This remains because it's a reminder to me, from where ive first started out! woohoo~
Coming home to quiet house like this morning after few days feels like it's an abandoned and lifeless, as if no one seems to be living in but actually there's someONE living in here. The stuff around remains where it had been left for weeks.. more additions than subtractions. Mom's out early than i was back :) i love a quiet time to myself, anytime, all the time.
i've scoot by the third of four nights. That's many thanks to logical planning with my team members. Adequate rest is important for welfare. hehe.. On some days, when i'm in a world of my own.. spending time behind the mask just replying or rather more likely patronizing to the voice in my head. It gives me without a cause for groupies while minding my own business & assignment, covering my bum and get things done. Rules are mere guideline to refraining you from killing one another. Most of which are meant to be bent or broken :p
Then on every other days, i'm usually at hyped-up mode probably from the result of caffeine intake. By that i meant frequently exchanging junkyard of crap with my colleagues to boost up the solemn atmosphere otherwise i'm happy making rounds in the department. i might be more annoying than entertaining but who cares? Singaporeans take what is thrown into their faces without complaining in front of you. Why the sad faces? LOL.. by the way, i must stress with HTML to the best of knowledge that i have over the following which many may have incur any one's wrath or plain disagreement over..
Jaime is absolutely against gossiping or 'sharing of information' of any kinds between two or more 'friends-by-proximity' concerning another party whether or not he/she is my EFF. Lovingly defined in my terms, i will listening in disgust but not expected to be participating nor adding on to the forest fire. Objections?Justifiable enough to just be there in the conversation?
PS: This is random. i need to type here :D
i'm contended oozing my very own charisma so just dance people!
it all started from the weather which made the house felt like a human broiler, close to it was the undefined plans scattering all over, then it was my rejection towards my godson that makes me feel like i've abandon him, next was me trying to make everyone else happy by accommodating..
and ended up what? Jaime being super frustrated at herself. It made her felt like crap.
Then the scene from Bruce Almighty from last night's caregroup flashed in my head.
"I am successful, I am happy, I am handsome, I am powerful.."
So i looked hard into the mirror and said
" i am Jaime and God loves me for who i am when i think i am lousy. ian still thinks i am beautiful even when i think i have a ugly character (whether it's really true or not, God knows.) Things will fall into place when time comes. satan, you have got no place here! so go away!"
viola~ no dramas or some change of place from where i was sitting.. yet i do feel the greener side already :) it's called FAITH, i assume.
Previously my boyfriend taught me to unlock the gates before i try to bust into the house through the main door. Of course that would have made me all fuming and cursing at Mom for locking in the first place. LOL, tonight i unlocked the gates first and i didnt feel so angsty stepping into the house. hmm this tells me that i should continue to learn to be patient! it really rewarding to take time to live life.
Ryan and i were debating the same thing tonight. i guess i really have to confront this dangling issue that's weighing my decision as soon as possible.
There's so much unpleasanties i could complain about right now. Like how i was screamed senseslessly at that one night, i had wanted to burst out crying. i held back. But that'll make reading so depressing.
So i'm deciding to share happy stuff instead!
i've completed my set of fours nights and chose to forgo our ipoh trip because both of us had assignment deadlines. So with my long break, we'll catch Night Museum Two later in the week. The kitchen pipe broke while i was lazying on my bed for past 18 hours and right now i need to use the loo urgently!!
Tuesday: ian & i took a short nap before our movie date. At 3pm we were still sleepyheads that sneaking in more time made us missed our dinner, left us so hungry that we had popcorn, drinks and hotdogs during Angels & Demons. Ewan is a horrible hero :( so totally cheated my naive feelings! heh, we met up with irene & Ben for supper at pNL afterwards.
Last Thursday: We celebrated bAbYee's birthday at Rider's Cafe (our special place) and it was simple wonderful time spent. The ambience, the friends and food made the night magical :)
Few of the many favourites
i'm carrying the abundantly blessed feeling on the inside :D Thank You Jesus! For EVEYRTHING.
Looking at the dates till end of May, i realised that i've got so much planning for functions, packing and deadlines to meet. i've already away slept half of today and the guilt is rolling in. LOL, i shouldnt be since it's my third off day alone, having the whole house to myself. Good thing my trusty gold book reminds me that i'm pre-booked on certain days so i have to be really disciplined to the dot.
i'm really looking forward to this Thursday for our girl's night out. Timbre or not, it'll be bAbYee's choice because it's her birthday (boyfriends/husband are allowed by invitation only), party a little before another requested stretch of four night shifts starts. And it's for a jolly good reason :)
i used to look forward to nights but definately not now. It'll hit the weekends and i'm praying hard that it'll be a smooth one for sake of an awaited trip away from Singapore. Smarty pants jaime dont like to take leave or waste them on study days, carefully plotting & requesting for many off days in a row will do :) It's something that Swine cant freeze!
Gonna do some personal grooming and dinner with Eric before finally finding no other mighty excuses to embark on the first word of 2.8k essay :p Stress is always secondary.
i was totally and blissfully knocked out in my dreams till afternoon, only waking up after much nudging to have lunch at BBP. ian decided to pop the question of the day! And so we had a movie date! HEHE, i'm smiling from ear to ear so wide that you'll need to wear shades from looking at my stained teeth.
i've previous learnt that sometimes having each other around often (like us seeing each other almost everyday and i mean, being apart less than twenty four hours) it needed slightly more conscious effort to occassionally spritz real U-together-S time before sub-consciously edging into presence-taken-for-granted stage. No such unnecessary need for lavish gifts, extra make up nor time-consuming plannings.
i like how we had spent the evening today. Thanks, i appreciate even the silent moments we're spending together. Away from my work, away from yours.
Jaime's like a delighted child with a purple cuppa hot dark chocolate topped to the brim with marshmallows sitting in front of her. Warm & fuzzy & glowing with love :) i'm still learning. i'm an architect apprentice in building our own love story, slowly but surely.
Post night i took a long shower at work to buy time before 930am Service. Still early, i had light breakfast in a sleepyhead mode.. and being blessed to have my head of department attending same Church as i am, he offered to drive me down. It was still drizzling from the wee hours storm so it was an irresistible offer :D bAbYee wasnt even there yet. hehe~
i enjoyed the Service. By grace, i didnt fall asleep. Certain words buzzed my buttons. Appreciation pushes up the valuability of a person. i smsed Mom telling her "i love you so much more than i can say. Happy Mother's Day." LOL~ Also, got hit by an all-too-familiar verse - Matthew 11:28. Yes, i will :)
Next.
Mother's Day lunch was at The Garden Slug with ian's family. Little Sophie is by far the most adorable two year old girl i've seen. She has her mother's humongous damn-Chinese single eyelids 0_O and Roy's face shape. Looking at her being so oblivious to how much joy she has brought to the family, paints a perfect model family that Society seemed to have in diminishing numbers.
We went back for a two hours nap and headed down for Mother's Day dinner at irene's place. It was a very simple homely affair. We did something which i havent done for the longest of time too - watching moving pictures on the black box called television. We watched Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (i felt megan kicking during commercials!) and the senselessly bimbotic S Factor that really reflected the ungraceful side of Singaporean girls with me included. i'm so not going for any fine dining :p heartful sigh! Family time levelled up :) Ben came home shortly just before we left.
i had a weird urge, a nostalgic feeling, to sit & watch programmes to let Time pass me by, that we went back and picked our movie as the night crept into dawn. i picked a comedy for the sake of keeping us awake.The Love Guru wouldnt load so it was White Chick! We planted ourselves neatly on the comfort of the purple linen bedsheets, air con lushing around us, armed with green tea.. i roared in laughter that broke the tranquility. hahahahaha..
fever whole day! it is too high so i rush down! got no time to give panadol at home! ; Saturday 6am
-____-
it's just one of those times i wanna throw the bottle into these people's faces.
Anyway i had a lovely breakfast with Ray this morning after my shift, with pleasant message surprises. Thanks, i enjoyed your company after a hectic shift! i totally knocked out after i got home but the weather wasd too hot that i woke up five hours later. i'm looking for for tomorrow!
It'll be a pack with activies. My first off post night, shower at work, First Service in Church then lunch at The Garden Slug with ian's family, dinner at irene's family before i call it a Happy Mother's day!
